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What’s Up with Pastor Todd 11-6-19

Hsi Lai Temple, Hacienda Heights, CA

What’s Up with Pastor Todd 11-6-19

I’m sitting in the Burbank Hollywood Airport waiting for my flight to Hartford. The screen on the wall chatters with a morning show. Around me people take, then vacate the seats at the gate as their flights board. My flight to Hartford isn’t for a couple of hours, so I have an opportunity to let you know what’s up!

I’m returning after spending a couple of days in Los Angeles. My trip had a dual purpose. The primary purpose was to serve as the UCC delegate to the National Council of Churches Buddhist-Christian dialogue, which took place on Tuesday at Hsi Lai Temple, a Chan Buddhist temple, in Hacienda Heights. The secondary (although a very close second) was to visist my daughter, Olivia, who is a freshman at Occidental College in Los Angeles. 

The dialogue was interesting. This is our second time meeting. This is how it goes. About twenty of us, Buddhists and Christians of different flavors, sit at a large oval table in a conference room and listen while members of the group make presentations on different topics that the group has previously identified. I was asked to speak to the topic of “Renunciation and Repentance.” Others topics for this dialogue included Buddhist and Christian perspectives on social justice and Buddhist and Christian perspectives on “ultimate reality.” I could tell that the group was going deeper compared to last dialogue because this time “difference” was allowed to arise in the group.

What do I mean by “difference was allowed to arise?” At one point we were talking about Buddhist reincarnation as it relates to Christian salvation. One of the Christians tried to make a connection between the two concepts. The Buddhist presenter shook his head and said, “No, they are not the same.” The conversation then shifted to a discussion of language and its limitations when faced with ultimate reality, which, by definition, is unspeakable. 

The purpose of the Buddhist-Christian dialogue is to build connections across religious differences. The first impulse in building connections is to look for commonalities. We naturally do this when we meet someone new. “Where are you from?” one might ask. “Sacramento,” she says. “Oh, my cousin lives near there,” you say. And on it goes. We relax. There’s a good feeling. We’re not so different after all. And we aren’t. A foundational claim for both Buddhists and Christians is that all of life is connected. But if we stay in this easy place of “we’re all the same,” are we really getting at the truth?

Recognizing difference is vital to genuine connection. Integrity has boundaries. It is able to say both “yes” and “no.” Difference gives energy, variety, and beauty to life because difference is also truth. The English Romantic poet John Keats wrote, “Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all/Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.” Difference can feel sharp. It can feel scary. “What’s happening? Will we lose our connection? Will we argue? Will we fight?” Healthy dialogue allows both commonalities and differences to arise without getting caught in any of them. Instead, we calmly apprise and appreciate them. Commonality and difference. Connection and disconnection. This is the path to truth and beauty. This is the way of the unspeakable. 

What’s Up with Pastor Todd 10-3-19

What’s Up with Pastor Todd 10-3-19

At First Congregational Church of Granby we’ve been having some wonderful conversations over the past several weeks. We’ve had four “Meet the Minister” meetings with about 40 total attendance with one more to go. This covers close to our active membership. Great participation! In those meetings we have addressed four questions: 1) What brought you to FCC? 2) What keeps you at FCC? 3) What is your vision for the next 3-5 years? 4) What next steps might we take to get there? There have been a wide range of responses, honest and heartfelt, and most have left the meetings feeling a mixture of grief over what was and hope for what might be. I will be compiling the responses and making a presentation at our next “Working Lunch” Sunday, October 20, in Cook Hall following worship. I’m looking forward to deepening the conversation in this time of transition.

Speaking of “Working Lunch” . . . We had our first Working Lunch this past Sunday, September 29 in Cook Hall. Ann Wilhelm and crew prepared a delicious lunch. Thank you so much! After lunch a group of about 25 church members created a timeline of significant events in the life of the church, in the town of Granby, in the United States, and in our world. We also included our own personal significant events such as baptisms, funerals, weddings, confirmation, and other life moments. It was helpful to take a 30,000 foot view of the movement of events and their interconnection. 

Following the creation of the timeline, we made observations, including highlights, lowlights, patterns, things we would like to see continue into the future, and things we might not want to repeat. There were many insightful comments but one that struck me came from Emily Messenger. After reflecting on how people at FCC and other congregational churches tend to get upset and leave, she commented that we should be “learning to make conflict as a way of growing rather than splitting apart.” I thought that was incredibly insightful.

Conflict is normal. God created each of us different with differing perspectives, opinions, and life experiences. If we were all the same, life would be boring. Sometimes churches tell me they have no conflict. To me, this indicates one of three possibilities: 1) They are lying; 2) They aren’t doing anything of any significance; 3) They’re dead. It is also true that conflict handled in an unhealthy manner is the number one reason for decline in congregations. The good news is that we can learn healthy communication practices that will indeed enable us to use conflict as a way of growing rather than splitting apart. The Church Council is recommending we hire consultant and coach Rev. Claire Bamberg to help us with that work. You will have the chance to meet her Sunday, November 17, when she will be preaching and leading worship.

The point of the timeline exercise is to create common memory. Georges Erasmus, a respected Aboriginal leader from Canada, said, “Where common memory is lacking, where people do not share in the same past, there can be no real community. Where community is to be formed, common memory must be created.” Our history is full of ups and downs, but the good news is we can learn from it. And with new learning comes new opportunity for new life.

What’s Up with Pastor Todd 9-9-19

What’s Up with Pastor Todd 9-9-19

This weekend two fun events are converging in the life of FCC Granby: Reaching New People Workshop with Rev. Paul Nickerson and Blessing of the Animals worship. 

Reaching New People workshop will be hosted at First Church in Windsor this coming Friday, September 13, 6pm-9pm and Saturday, September 14, 9am-3pm. This event is free for FCC Granby members and you are encouraged to invite friends! There is still time to RSVP and if you end up just showing up the day of, we won’t turn you away, but RSVP will help us plan for lunch.

So far we have 16 people registered, which is a great number considering our size. I’m so glad that so many at FCC Granby are interested in reaching new people. Joining us will be groups from First Church in Windsor, South Congregational Church Granby, and others. Our team is responsible for providing chips/snacks and desserts, so let me know what you plan on bringing! If anyone would like to carpool, let me know (pastor@firstchurchgranby.org).

Topics covered in the workshop include: 

  • How 1955 strategies no longer work
  • A discussion about where your church is right now
  • How to re-introduce the church to the community 
  • How to re-arrange the pastor’s work week and get him/her out into the community meeting new people
  • How to develop a culture of invitation in the congregation
  • How to deal with resistance and change

Each church team comes out of the weekend with a 6-month Plan of Action.

Blessing of the Animals will be Sunday, September 15, 10am on FCC Granby front lawn, 219, North Granby Rd., Granby, CT. Bring your pets, bring your stufties, bring photos of pets, bring your friends, bring your lawn chairs. Contact Head Deacon Chris Saunders (vbalesaunders@cox.net) to volunteer for set up, tear down, and to bring treats!

Worship Resources for Easter 5C

The Peace Candle

Holy God, teach us your peace that passes understanding. While the world around us burns with conflict and hatred, we take shelter in your boundless love. Thank you for giving us this opportunity to return to you. Amen.

*Prayer of Dedication

We want to be ready, O God, to enter the Holy City, to sit at the banquet table, and to join with all creation in celebrating your salvation. We can’t do that, however, if all we do is take. We give back a portion of all you’ve given hoping that one day we might be at peace. Amen.

Pastor’s Page March 2019

27 February 2019

Dear Friends,

This is to inform you that I have received a call to serve as Transitional Senior Minister of First Congregational Church of Granby, CT. It turns out there are many more congregations facing what we are facing, and they need help. My last Sunday with you will be March 31, after which I will wrap up some previous commitments including grant-funded training with the Connecticut Conference UCC and an FCC Stamford led Sacred Conversation on Restart at First Church in Windsor, followed by some personal transition time.

I’m feeling very sad, to be honest. We’ve been through a lot together in the past three years. We find ourselves at a place that I didn’t imagine in 2016. But it’s a good place, an exciting place, the place I’m convinced God is calling us to be. There are no guarantees in this life beyond the enduring embrace of God’s boundless love. You know that. Nevertheless you have chosen to step boldly into the land of uncertainty trusting in the power of God’s love. That, my friends, is Christianity, and in my experience, far too few Christians and Christian congregations are willing to do that. So this is the real deal, the true faith, and you are living it. For that I want to honor you and lift you up as witnesses to what is possible in God.

You are not alone. You are not abandoned. You are equipped perhaps beyond what you realize. You are now the experts in restart. You have a plan that you have been successfully implementing. Stick to it. You have leaders like Rob and Jen Godzeno, who have experience with church starts and intuitively know the next steps for success. You have a supportive Regional Minister in Rev. Michael Ciba. You have your restart coach, Rev. Paul Nickerson. You have hired Griffith Coaching to provide professional services for a nationwide restart pastor search that will bring you the most qualified candidates with the best cultural match to this project. Additionally, I have spoken with Rev. Margaret Keyser about the possibility that she can be available for spiritual support during the Silent Period. Your Moderator, Maureen Matthews, is in conversation with Rev. Ciba to address any additional needs the congregation may have. You have a great staff team in Lydia and Andrew who will keep operations running smoothly. You are a well resourced group with access to some of the finest religious professionals in the country and some of the most inspiring lay leaders that I have had the honor of working with.

In the coming weeks we will be going through a process of leave-taking. Please talk to me. Call me up. Email me. Make an appointment. I am here to listen to whatever it is you have to say. I have had a lot of people express interest in our restart process. They are encouraging me to share what we’ve learned together so far. So I’d be particularly interested in hearing your stories and experiences of the journey: What advice would you give other congregations? What worked well? What didn’t work as well? What hopes and dreams do you have? What are you worried about? You are blazing a path that others will want to follow. And for that, I praise God.

Revised Sermon for Legacy Sunday: Transfiguration

Rev. Dr. Todd Grant Yonkman, Transitional Senior Minister

First Congregational Church of Stamford

Sermon for Transfiguration Sunday/Legacy Sunday

3 March 2019

Text: Luke 9:28-36

Transfiguration

We are not closing. We are being transfigured. We are not closing. We are turning a page. We are not closing. We are restarting. We are not closing. We are being remade. What is closing is this chapter in our history.

What is ending is all of this. What is ending is our occupancy of this building. There’s nothing wrong with this building. It’s beautiful. It’s historic. It’s built on the best piece of property in the city. It just doesn’t serve us anymore, and we have too few resources–human and financial–to maintain it. So we are choosing to let it go. We have already done this six times in our history. And if we have any luck, any courage, any faith, we will likely do it again. It’s our spiritual DNA. It’s how we survive. It’s how God remakes us.

What’s ending is white, Euro-centric worship. There’s nothing wrong with that style. But Stamford is a young, culturally diverse city. That’s why everyone wants to move here. People like young. People like diverse. People like joy. People like freedom. People need silence. People like awe and a sense of the holy. People long to connect to God. And if people can’t see themselves, their lives, their concerns, and their cultures reflected in worship, they can’t see God.

What’s ending is the idea that Stamford owes us something. Being first is a proud thing. The story of those who sailed from England in the 1600s, gathered in Watertown, MA under the leadership of Sir Richard Saltonstall, and eventually made their way to this place should be remembered. The whole story. Including the story of the indigenous hosts of this land and truth of how our European ancestors came to possess it. But if the mission of this church is to found the City of Stamford, that was accomplished a long, long time ago. If the plumber would fix our building or electric company provide power based solely on the fact that this is First Congregational Church, we would be fine. But, unfortunately, simply being the first is not enough to sustain a congregation in the 21st century.

Neither is doing good things for people. First Congregational Church has done many acts of charity over the years. We have provided moral leadership at critical times. The city in general has a good opinion of us. But in the same way that the plumber won’t fix our toilets because we have the word “first” in our name, the groundskeepers won’t accept payment in good opinion and well wishes. While commendations from the mayor are nice, they do not pay the bills. The people of Stamford are not going to support our church just because we think they should. We are entitled to nothing.

I’ve been serving congregations my entire life from singing with the children’s choir to serving as an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ. And the nearest I can tell is that ultimately people sacrifice their time, talent, and treasure on behalf of a congregation for the same reason the saints of old gave their bodies to the lions and their flesh to the flames. Ultimately there is one reason and one reason only to be a church: to share the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

We are not closing. We are being reborn. We are not closing. We are humbling ourselves before God and the City of Stamford and saying, “Make us the church you need us to be.” We are joining Jesus in the garden, falling to our knees, praying, “Not my will but yours be done.” We are joining Peter, James, and John on the mountaintop in order that we, too, might bear witness to transfiguration.

What’s Up with Pastor Todd 2-25-19

A lot of different feelings, questions, ideas, suggestions are coming up in conversations as  we approach Legacy Weekend and anticipate the following Silent Period. I simply want to remind everyone of all of the previous hard work we’ve done in building healthy communication habits. It is more important than ever that we continue to practice them.

The guiding principle is direct communication. If you have something to say, communicate it to the appropriate person. If you have difficult feelings to share, share them with the person about whom you have those feelings. If you don’t know where to go with your feelings feel free to share them with me or someone on our conflict response team: Denise Moumene, Maureen Matthews, Pam Shadford, Jean Meyer, Rob Godzeno. If someone is sharing inappropriately with you, direct them to the correct person. Sometimes it may feel rude or uncaring, but keep in mind the larger goal: the future of our congregation. The number one killer of congregations is unhealthy conflict.

We’ve made so much progress in coming together over the past three years. It feels miraculous to me. I never would have anticipated in 2016 that we would find ourselves where we are now. Together we’ve taken bold action and made difficult decisions to give ourselves the possibility of a future.

Sermon for Legacy Sunday, March 3, 2019

Rev. Dr. Todd Grant Yonkman, Transitional Senior Minister

First Congregational Church of Stamford

Sermon for Transfiguration Sunday/Legacy Sunday

3 March 2019

Text: Luke 9:28-36

Transfiguration

The Bible tells us that a great flood once covered the earth. Noah, his family, and two of every animal on the earth took rode out a 40 day storm in a gigantic boat called an ark. After the rain had stopped and the waters receded, God put a rainbow in the sky as a seal of God’s promise to protect the natural cycles and season of life on this planet. God said in God’s heart: “As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night shall not cease” (Gen. 8:22).

The pomp and circumstance of this service might give the impression that something unusual and grand is happening today. Indeed, this is a historic moment in the life of First Congregational Church of Stamford. This is only the seventh time in this church’s 384 year history that the congregation has sought a new building. Nevertheless, as a congregation, we have done this before. Historic moves of this kind are a part of our spiritual DNA. They are a big reason why we have been able to continue as a congregation for as long as we have. So while this is an historic occasion, it’s also an event that’s as common as the passing of the seasons.

Our spiritual ancestors who left Wethersfield to build a log meetinghouse on a site just a quarter mile away from here could not possibly imagine the city that Stamford would become. They would probably also be surprised to find us here in this grand stone building with a fine organ and a choir in robes like the cathedrals they left behind in Europe. First Congregational Church has experienced a number of astounding transfigurations, and we are about to be transfigured again.

Jesus’ disciples were amazed and confused when Jesus’ appearance changed on the mountain. They heard the voice of God. They witnessed Jesus conversing with the prophets of the past. Peter wanted to stay in that magical moment. But as suddenly as that transcendent moment occurred, it was gone and they were once again confronted with the mundane task of following their master and healing the world person by person, season by season, step by step, moment by moment.

So, too, for us today we are confronted with the poignant truth of human existence: each moment is unique and precious, never to be repeated, lost forever to the insatiable maw of time. We grieve that loss just as the disciples grieved Jesus’ death, just as we grieve moving from this place that contains so many memories. Nevertheless, we are comforted in knowing that just as the earth endures, so too, are we as a congregation simply passing through another season, a season of change, no doubt, a season of loss, yes, but also a season of hope. Just as the transfiguration was a preview of Jesus’ resurrection, so, too, will we pass through this season of change into the promise of new life.

What’s Up with Pastor Todd 2-18-19

On Sunday, Feb. 17, the Silent Task Force will meet with the folks who have volunteered to host and lead home worship during the Silent Period. The Silent Period begins after the March 3 Legacy Service and will continue into the fall of this year. During this time we will have a variety of worship experiences, community reflections, training and service opportunities to prepare us to restart in a new Stamford location. You can find the schedule for the Silent Period at www.fccstamford.org.

The overview of the worship schedule for the Silent Period is:

  • 2 Sundays/month “All Together Worship”: We will gather “all together” for a time of worship, reflection, and training in restart skills in various locations around the community including some familiar spaces: FCC parlor, FCC dining hall, Ferguson Library, Avon Theater, UCONN Stamford, UUC Stamford. If you have suggestions for All Together Worship locations, contact Maureen Matthews (mmatth81@gmail.com). See the schedule for locations and times.
  • 1 Sunday/month: Home Worship. Informal worship in homes. The following people have volunteered to host home worship: Jen & Rob Godzeno (for kids and families faith formation focused home church), Pam Shadford, Jean & Bob Meyer, Peter Birch, Anne Mochulsky & Paul Bingaman, Pam Riley, Lori & Stu Constantine, Charlotte Smith. The following people have volunteered to lead home worship:  John Jelliffe, Denise Moumene, Maureen Matthews, Steve Ayres, Andrew Laro (faith formation one). If you would like either to host or to lead home worship, contact Maureen Matthews.
  • 1 Sunday/month: U-Pick Worship. You pick a growing, innovative church to visit for worship. Take notes. What worked? What didn’t work? Kids should go to Sunday school. What did they like? What didn’t they like? We will share our discoveries in All Together Worship. See Website for church visit suggestions, also to coordinate rides.
  • 5th Sundays: Service Worship. We gather informally and then engage the community to promote our restart. Examples: picnic in the park and hand out hotdogs, walk in the cancer walk and hand out water bottles, rent booth at Pride in the Park (Norwalk) and hand out swag, etc.

More to come. Stay tuned.