Who are we? Where are we going? How do we get there? These are questions a church vitality coach/consultant that I’ve worked with successfully for many years suggested we at First Church Old Saybrook consider. This vitality coach, Rev. Paul Nickerson, also told me that this is the bulk of the work he’s doing with congregations right now. Following the COVID pandemic many congregations are feeling a need to reinvent themselves. Worship attendance is down 40%-60% in all sizes of churches and in all denominations. As Americans continue to explore the many options available to us to lead lives of meaning and purpose, where does the local congregation fit in?
This echoes some of the things I’ve been hearing from FCC Saybrook. At a recent deacons meeting one of the deacons raised the issue of identity and the fact that in her opinion the church didn’t have a strong sense of identity–the “Who are we?” question–and is nevertheless moving in a direction to better define that identity.
Paul suggested FCC Saybrook gather a group of leaders for a Zoom consult with him around the questions Who are we? Where are we going? How do we get there? My invitation to you is to consider whether you might be interested in being a part of that call. Stay tuned!
Coaching a transition process and change management are two different things. This is one of my big “light bulb” moments from the past two weeks of online professional conferences I’ve been attending as part of my continuing education.
Last week I attended the annual professional conference for the International Coaching Federation (ICF). ICF is the world’s largest credentialing body for professional coaches. Our transition coach, Rev. Dr. Claire Bamberg is credentialed through ICF. The coaches facilitating our working groups are ICF credentialed as well.
The difference between change management and coaching is who is in the driver’s seat. Change management operates under the assumptions of hierarchical business and organizational structures where there’s a boss or a board driving the change. The shepherding is done by the “project manager” who is in charge of designing and executing the process. Change management lends itself well to technical challenges where the problem is fairly well defined and the solution is somewhat familiar. Organizations and projects where roles are clearly defined and leadership has tools to enforce compliance (through, for example, a paycheck) are served well by a change management process. In change management the boss or board hands over the keys to the change manager who takes the organization from a clearly defined point A to the desired destination point B.
The example that was used in the change management seminar I attended had to do with a business shifting from a traditional office-with-doors workspace environment to a more modern open concept workspace. A complicated shift, for sure, but very different from trying to consolidate two centuries old churches.
In coaching, the “client” is in the driver’s seat, not the coach. Often the client is facing an adaptive challenge, which means that first we have to define what, precisely, the problem is. This is an awareness building process that leads to an “aha” moment in which the “problem” is identified and a range of possible solutions brainstormed. Using the tools of powerful questions, artful language, and deep listening the client identifies resources, accountability structures, and paths forward as new possibilities arise. There’s no need to get “buy-in” because the solution comes from the client themselves. Shifting metaphors: the coach acts as a midwife to bring the new life out into the world; however, it’s the client’s “baby,” and they have to do the “labor.”
Our transition process has primarily relied on the coaching model because it is most appropriate for the type of organization we are working with and because of the type of challenge we are facing. There have been some elements of change management, which may have led to confusion for folks more familiar with the change management approach. The coaching model is challenging because it invites the client to do the difficult work of transformation. The coaching model is the appropriate model because when it comes to personal or organizational transformation, no one can do the work for you.
In a “Union Service” on April 25, First Church and South Church commissioned six working groups composed of both First Church and South Church members whose purpose is to “imagine a new entity, including: its sense community; its infrastructure; telling its history; its program; its property and its staff and technological communications.” Each of these working groups will be assigned its own coach, who will be meeting with the groups to support their work.
Many of us are familiar with coaching through our work with Rev. Dr. Claire Bamberg and/or Rev. Paul Nickerson. My transitional ministry contract includes the expectation that I will provide “coaching where appropriate.” But what do we mean by “coaching?”
People use the term “coaching” in many different ways. The definition that Claire and I use comes from the International Coach Federation (ICF), which sets global industry standards for professional coaching. Methodist pastor J. Val Hastings, Founder and President Coaching4Clergy, puts the ICF approach this way: “Here is how I define coaching: As a coach, I help people get the results they want by bringing out the best in them. I’ll also explain that coaching isn’t about fixing people or solving problems, rather coaching is a developmental or discovery-based process. Similar to athletic coaches, we further develop the skill and talent already inherent in the people we coach.”
Coaching is often confused with “consulting.” Consultants tend to “tell you what to do.” They have expertise in a particular field and apply that expertise to your particular situation. Paul Nickerson, for example, uses more of a consultant model. Consulting is helpful. That’s why consulting is such a big business.
Coaching in the ICF model relies on deep listening, powerful questions, and something called “artful language” (which is a discipline of atuning oneself to the client’s preferred vocabulary and style of expression.) These are the basic tools that when deployed effectively can lead to “a-ha” moments of discovery on the part of individuals and groups.
What are some “a-ha” moments that you have noticed in our coaching work so far? Perhaps you’ve had a personal moment of insight. I would love to hear it. Perhaps you’ve noticed a moment in a meeting or one of our Sharing Services in which heads were nodding and there was a feeling of connectedness. The word cloud exercise we did last year that revealed a common “Why” around the words “inspire” and “love” was an “a-ha” moment for many. Discovering these insights and then building an action plan around them is what coaching is designed to do.
We are so blessed to have access to have this much coaching for our project. I’m not aware of any other consolidation projects that have coaches assigned to each working group. I encourage all of us to engage the process wholeheartedly.
“If we let it fall apart, what could we do then?” In the early days of the COVID pandemic, I used the phrase “stay safe, stay together” to chart a course through what has been a difficult, scary time. I’m glad to say we’ve done that.
March 22 was our first livestream only worship service at FCCG. In those early days and weeks, we were in emergency mode–or at least church leadership was. Every day new information about the pandemic was coming out from state and local officials. As a church we had to learn quickly and adapt nimbly to keep everyone safe and everyone together. Folks were frightened and disoriented. We were looking for direction and trying to find our footing.
We adapted quickly. Many of us learned how to use Zoom. We adapted our worship service and upgraded our technology. We learned new routines of working from home, of checking in by phone, of making sure people were safe and supported. We started new programs: weekly Zoom Bible study, “Thank-Goodness-It’s-Zoom” virtual happy hour, online prayer group, daily online devotional. The Vitality Team has really shined in these past months (thanks Beth Lindsay, Ann W, Don S, Anne delC., Dick L, Kerri C, Heather D!) raising money for essential workers, organizing a cheer parade, delivering Easter cheer baskets, thanking postal workers, organizing mask making, organizing gardening supplies and cheer cards for the residents of Meadowbrook, and more. The one thing I love about this COVID time is that it has opened an opportunity to connect with new groups of people beyond our walls–people we have overlooked for too long.
Now we’re at a different place. Summer is upon us. Folks are getting restless. For some, perhaps, the novelty of worshipping from home has worn off. Zoom gatherings that were well attended at first have tapered off, so we’ve discontinued them for now. I hear complaints. The diversity of opinions about whether and how to continue our collaborations with South Church is wide. The weight of grief over what’s been lost over the past months and the worry over what is to come are significant. I’m finding that leading the church from a place of staying safe and staying together is actually becoming more challenging the deeper we move into this pandemic.
One of the things we learn in coaching training is the technique of asking “powerful questions.” Questions that point to the heart of the situation can sometimes shift perspective and remove obstacles to growth, life, happiness. It occurred to me that a powerful question for this moment might be “What if we let it fall apart? What could we do then?” We still need to stay safe. And I think we still want to stay together, but what if we took a breather? What if we relaxed the meeting schedule? What if we let go of our expectations of “going back to normal” and just did the things that brought us life, joy, and energy? What if we focussed on the work of the Vitality Team that is bringing blessing and joy to so many people?
The Re-Open Team–Lori F, Lisa R, and Sue M–will be beginning their work soon. I’m hoping in the coming weeks we can begin to define when, how, and under what circumstances we can begin some in-person gatherings. Until that time, what do you need to let go of? What do you need to embrace?
February is discernment month for First Church Granby. Feb. 9 following worship will be our annual congregational “discernment” meeting. I think it’s great that FCCG has one meeting a year devoted to the spiritual practice of discernment. There are many different approaches to discernment. You can find a number of different examples in the Bible: prayer and fasting, casting lots, consulting prophets, rituals involving sacrifice, pilgrimage. Gideon famously put fleece outside overnight to discern what God wanted him to do in battle. Moses ascended Mount Sinai to receive the 10 commandments. We won’t be doing any of these things. We will be doing prayer and conversation. But what all these have in common is the ancient human attempt to determine what God wants or what God is up to, in more formal language, “divine will.”
Divine will is a notoriously difficult thing to determine. The Bible is full of stories of individuals who claimed to know the divine will when, it turns out, they didn’t. The results are usually unpleasant. So humility is the first and most important quality to bring to discernment. The second is patience. Scripture says that “the Spirit moves where it will.” God answers in God’s good time. And sometimes the answer is silence. In which case, we might decide to sit with the question a while longer. But I want to encourage us that it is indeed possible to discern God’s deepest longing for us. I’ve experienced it. I’ve witnessed it happen in congregations. We’ll know we’ve nailed it when there is a moment of connection, joy, and release. God’s will may not be pleasant. God may not be inviting us to do something we particularly want to do. But there is joy and release knowing it’s the right thing to do. There is a deep sense of connection knowing that in the long run discerning and doing God’s will leads to abundant life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come.
So don’t miss worship Feb. 9 and stay for the meeting after. Our transition coach, Claire Bamberg will be joining us and facilitating a discernment discussion on the topic of “What is Your ‘Why’?”
I’m sitting in one of the living-rooms-turned-into-conference-rooms of the Edwards House Retreat and Conference Center in Framingham, MA. Edwards House is a giant farm house situated on several acres that serves both as the (now former) Massachusetts Conference UCC headquarters and–as the name would imply–a site for conferences, retreats, meetings and other types of church-related gatherings.
I’m here for a week-long training in leadership coaching. This is the second part of a Lilly Endowment funded program to train an ecumenical group of clergy–who were selected through an application process–in the theory and practice of coaching groups and individuals for the purposes of raising awareness, clarifying values, and maximizing effectiveness.
Coaching is NOT therapy. It is not spiritual direction or pastoral counselling. It is a way of working with people through deep listening, artful language, and powerful questions that is designed to produce real world, life-changing results.
Coaches work with pastors, lay leaders, congregations, non-profit and for-profit organizations, managers, “C-suite” executives, parents, teachers, and leaders of all types. The idea behind training clergy in leadership coaching is that clergy can, in turn, coach their staff, volunteer leaders, and teams. Coaching is a leadership style that brings out the best in individuals and groups.
I have greatly benefitted from working with a number of coaches over my 20 years of ministry. If it weren’t for the coaches who have encouraged me and helped me grow as a leader, I probably wouldn’t be in ministry today. I’m glad for this opportunity to give back. Once we’re certified, those of us who are being trained are required to donate 50 hours of coaching to churches, teams, and/or individual leaders of the Southern New England Conference UCC.
My training requires that I log 500 hours of coaching for certification. If you are interested in a sample coaching session, email me at pastor@firstchurchgranby.org to learn more.
Todd Grant Yonkman 